So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
