I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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