Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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