you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
