Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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