I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
