Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
