i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
