I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
