well you can't waste a boner
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
