apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
