I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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