smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
