Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
