im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
