sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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