this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We were destined to go to rehab together
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
