He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
