I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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