He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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