Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
