lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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