No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
