My girlfriend figured out who you are.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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