I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
