well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Come share oat with me in your robe
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
