Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
