I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
