your room smells of hookers.
And success
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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