so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
