I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
