I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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