Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do herpes really smell.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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