home. puking in laundry basket.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
