you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
