My hand turned me down
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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