So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
