Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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