He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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