He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
