Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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