seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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