you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Randomize
