I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
