i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
