I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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