I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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