if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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