the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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