I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
